How long has it been like this?
by HeadIsInTheClouds
Summary: Can't tell you the pairing or if there is one, alas that would spoil my songfic. But do read it is only short. Sorry if the end is a tad sappy, alas it is not intentional.


Disclaimer : I own nothing that was created from the imagination of anyone else but myself.

_I see you by the water  
Your toes dipped in the sand  
I thought that it was over  
I thought you'd understand  
But the feeling is returning  
Though time has made us change  
And I understand if you don't  
Wanna talk to me about it  
Tonight._

Neal watched kel as she ambled sadly across the beach. He didn't know of kel's feelings for him. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He remembers as she approached him nervously, eyes flicking, hands wringing. At first he hadn't realized that she'd asked him out, he thought it was a group thing. Until she almost whispered the word _alone_. He had refused and tried to make it as light as he could. She ran tears streaming. Kel crying? This must be terrible.

_'Cause I see the light surrounding you  
so don't be afraid of something new_

The sun was a glaring semi circle on the horizon and it framed kel perfectly. Lighting up that hair. She was shrouded in the light, and he even thought at one point she was glowing as the emerald waters shifted behind her. __

Time was overtaking me  
And I guess I was confused  
They were all inviting me  
But I wish I had refused  
'Cause I've been there before  
And I've seen it all  
And I believe in you

He ran a hand through his hair as he realized how jealous Kel would've gotten. He flitted around with all those court ladies. Of course he never really liked any of them; most of it was for show. How long had she been suffering behind that damned mask. How long had it been like this? How long had she loved him?__

And if you never had my heart  
I would've never called you back  
At the start that night  
So I want you to know

He remembered in his page days how he had numerous crushes on her. Their entire study group had, at some point. Even boys who didn't know her that well did. She was captivating. __

That I see the light surrounding you  
So don't be afraid of something new  
'Cause I see the light surrounding you  
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into

He remembered that flicker of fear in her eyes. He saw sometimes when she mastered a skill or beat a boy bigger than her in a fight. She was afraid of her strength, of what path she, and the gods had chosen. He called out to her, his voice booming across the sandy abyss. Kel turned and saw him. He watched the glitter of crystals tumble down her cheeks when she spotted him. He heard a loud sob crack the silence. She then turned back and sprinted away from him. He contemplated just standing there, watching her half-boy half-girl run. She was gracefully in between the two worlds. Though _she_ didn't think she was .He ran after her. He knows he's faster. She knows he's faster. Still she keeps running, sand spitting, reflecting her anger and despair. He grabs her arms and pulls her into his arms.

"No. No! NO!"

She shudders and writhes trying to twist from his iron grasp.

"Kel! Come on, _we_ need too talk. I _need_ too talk to you!"

"I've had it with talking. It doesn't help. Never has! Never will! Just get off me!"

She shook herself violently from his grasp and marched up the beach to the castle. He didn't follow, not this time.

_Blue-eyed sun shines on me  
In the morning  
Can't help but feel a little cold  
Thinking of you_

He paced the stony walls the bitter cold dripping through his thin clothes. Predawn, what a terrible time to reflect. Suddenly a form appeared from the steps. It was kel she sharply jerked her head away from his and posted her self onto the opposite side of the battlement. He walked up to her, dialog running through his head. What would he say?__

'Cause I see the light surrounding you  
So don't be afraid of something new  
'Cause I see the light surrounding you  
So don't be afraid of what you're turning into  
No, don't be afraid  
Don't be afraid  
Cos I see the light  
Cos I see the light  
Cos I see the light surrounding you

She stood her ground, though she knew he was coming. He placed a warm hand onto her shoulder and she only flinched a little. How good was she at this mask act? His voice caught and squeaked in his throat. When it came out it sounded dark and husky, almost like when he talked to pretty convent girls.

She swung her head to face him, didn't even give him an empty smile.

"Yes soldier? Anything wrong?"

"My name, Kel, is Neal, you know that. Your making this har…har…der!"

His voice had caught again and he was surprised at the emotion in it. He took a step closer and seized her neck with his hands. He pressed his body against hers; memorizing the shape, it may never be like this again. She would've gasped but his lips were against hers. He pulled back and hugged her, long and hard. The sun burst from the horizon again and mirrored the image of yesterday on the beach. He watched as her hair lit up again, he stroked it as he had longed to do, since the day he met her.

"How long has it been like this? How long have you loved me?"

The exact questions he had asked himself. He smiled into her soft shoulder. She didn't need an answer. She had everything.


End file.
